At this moment I have many things I would like to write about, sitting on the docket; however, I am going to take this moment to share my morning with you.
Lately, my wife Dusti hasn’t been feeling well, and after work last night she went to the local clinic to get a check-up. We were supposed to go to the grocery store together after that, but it turned out that she didn’t get back to much later and was not up to going. Feeling that I should be the good husband and step up to the plate, I volunteered myself to do the grocery shopping after work this morning. So she gave me her shopping list . . .
Question: Have you ever been grocery shopping in Super Wal-Mart at 4:30 in the morning? I tell you, there are some characters roaming those aisles, myself probably the chief among them. A little disheveled, quite stinky and sweaty from 4 hours of loading boxes in + 80 degree heat, and sleep on my mind, I embarked upon my little grocery shopping experience.
First, I did not realize that at 4:30, Wal-Mart employees have this game where they see how many aisles they can block. It’s like a maze where you have to trace a path to get around palates, stacked boxes, lifting machines, etc. And then I began to study the list, of which I failed to go over with my wife (husbands, this is a definite sign of a bad grocery shopping experience). I was thinking of stuff like bread, doughnuts, toilet paper, fruit loops, capri sun, etc. Unfortunately most of that wasn’t on there. Instead my list had stuff like “cream of celery”. What?! Cream of celery? Are you kidding me?
Realizing that this would take longer than I had planned, I decided to not move in accordance to the elevator music softly playing in the background and speed up the pace a bit. An hour later, I was half way through the list. Exasperated and driven to despair, I began drive my buggy like a bulldozer in search of some Wal-Mart employees to find my goods and get out of there. Giving up on the hard stuff to find on the list, I figured at least I could find “lemon juice.” I was thinking, “O.K. I know of apple juice, grape juice, orange juice, grapefruit juice . . . but lemon juice? Who drinks lemon juice?” Anyway, I managed to find a sweet lady stocking jello to assist me in that final item.
Coming back to the apartment, I was greeted by the sprinkling system as I traversed through the walkway and up the three flights of stairs again, and again, and again. Yes, I had quite the morning. I am here on the computer and it is 7:50 a.m. – a day is just beginning for most of you. Hopefully I got everything we needed (and some snacks on the side). And next time (I am sure not too far off), I will at least know where to find cream of celery. My life is now complete. Have a great Friday, because I am going to bed now. T.G.I.F. – no really.
