I assume that for everyone who is reading this, Christmas is a long time in the distant future. However, for my wife and me, that gap was bridged by a one word message we received on Friday the 13th of this month. No, it was not “Heretic!” though that was said by Jerry Falwell. So what then was our Friday the 13th message?
You got it–“pregnant!”
Needless to say, we are really excited. Our baby is due December 15, just in time for Christmas. God, our Creator and Giver of life, has provided Christmas for us in April, a gift which we embrace with exceeding joy.
The first purchase my wife and I made in preparation for being parents was to buy a journal in which we are going to write our thoughts and prayers for baby Brister. I have been thinking a lot this week of various ways we can nurture our marriage during this time as well as prepare ourselves for the glorious calling of raising baby Brister through the counsel of God’s Word. I am reminded of another Timothy whose mother and grandmother acquainted him with the Scriptures which were to make him wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus (2 Tim. 3:14-15). Another close friend encouraged me to memorize Psalm 139 which I am planning to do. My sister-in-law bought a book for both my wife and me which explains everything that is taking place each week during pregnancy. Of the course of this past week, my mind and heart has been flooded with the grave responsibility and wondrous opportunity to be called upon as “father.”
Now, with all the joy we have in our hearts, I thought I’d ask others what you do or have done in preparation to be parents. Do you have any wisdom or advice you could give me and/or my wife during the next eight months? How have you prepared yourselves to be parents and embrace the call to be godly parents? Your feedback is greatly appreciated as my wife and I earnestly long to glorify God not only as lovers and co-laborers, but also as parents.
No advice — I’m not a parent yet. BUT, I do want to give a hearty congratulations! What a wonderful joy to receive such an incredible blessing from God. May His grace and peace overflow in your lives in an overwhelming abundance as you navigate the waters of the new addition to your family.
Congratulations!
Timmy,
Congratulations. I’ve written some helps for you on my blog. How To Be A Godly Dad – some advice for my expecting friend
I’ll add two bonus points from my own failings:
1. Don’t take Greek flashcards to the delivery room.
2. Don’t take a nap while she is in labor.
3. Don’t go to chapel the next day or class
Tony
Congratulations to you both!
I’m sure if I sat here and thought long enough I could think up more “parental advice” but the first thing that came to my mind was this:
Apart from the spiritual training and nurture of your children, the very best thing you can do for them is love their mother.
Nothing else will give them the same sense of security and love, nor prepare then to understand the love of Christ so well as they get older.
Tim, Congratulations!
My wife and Iare having our third child in about three weeks. Its a huge and awesome responsibility. I will remember you and your wife (and baby!) in my prayers.
Tim,
A huge congratulations to you and your wife! Wow. So exciting. I rejoice with you, brother.
Congratulations! Your life has changed forever.
Since my oldest is getting ready to graduate from high school I will say “don’t blink.” The time goes so fast and suddenly that tiny baby is “leaving the nest.” Slow down, don’t be too busy and enjoy your gift.
I’ll echo what Kim said “love their mother.”
Wow. Thanks for all the encouragement!
Nick,
I appreciate those kind words brother.
Tony,
I knew I could count on you for those knucklehead nuggets of advice. 😉
Kim,
Thank you for those great words. What’s great for me is that my wife is really easy to love. I am confident she will, by God’s grace, be a fantastic mother. It’s me who needs help!
Gavin,
Three children?! That’s great man. Let me say an early congrats to you and your wife as well. Thanks for remembering my wife and me during this time.
Owen,
Thanks brother. We still need to get the four, I mean five of us together soon.
Keith,
Indeed my life has changed. For one, I have to grow up a little more. I will try not to blink too much. I still remember when I had my first Dukes of Hazard birthday party when I was five, starting kindergarten with my knee-high socks, Jam shorts, and freshly cut harido. Looking back on all the events of my life, I can say without hesitation that my father and mother’s hands molded me everyday, so I am very blessed to have such wonderful examples to reflect on and look forward to as grandparents.
Congratulations!! That is awesome! Praise God.
Congratulations Mr. Brister
I guess the Patrick brothers are the only remaining members of the 832 who are childless (and for me wife-less). David and I spoke last night and he and Erica are now planning for their first baby. He’ll be happy to hear your news. Blessings my brother
Hey Hey! You are getting a big hug when I get to work tonight. 😉
When Tricia got pregnant back in January, we basically went “book crazy.” We scrutinized every pregnancy and parenting section in every bookstore in Louisville. Yes, every single bookstore. We tried to use discernment about which titles we picked, but we ended up with 13 different titles that we were “comparatively reading.” We were very disappointed that none of the “Christian” bookstores had books on pregnancy. It just further confirmed my atittude about the wastefulness of going to “Christian” bookstores.
I tried to make a habit of reading Scriptures about God as father, and was getting ready to make one of those “every Scripture” kind of worksheets on God’s fatherhood when Tee miscarried. It got kinda hard to continue after that, so we put away the books and I put away the worksheet idea.
The single most important thing pregnancy did for us is it forced us to stop thinking of what “we” wanted and start thinking about what “the kid” needed. I didn’t realize how selfish I could be until then. And I am telling you, you don’t realize how much you want a kid until it’s gone. That’s probably the only good selfishness allowed in marriage, IMO.
Maybe we could get a bunch of guys and girls together and write a “Christian” book on pregnancy to finally fill that gap.
Congratulations! Very happy for you guys!
Sean,
Thank man. I know Thunder is less than a day away, but we certainly have had our share of fireworks this week! 🙂
John,
Thanks brother. If you get a chance to talk to David, please tell him and Erica that we are praying for them. Now, to that wife issue . . .
Stephen,
I like hugs, but no kisses please. That holy kissing stuff still kind of weird in my book. 🙂
Regarding Scriptures, this morning I was meditating on the calling of Jeremiah (Jer. 1:5) and Paul (Gal. 1:15-16) and how they were ‘set apart before they were born.” I also was reading Hannah’s prayer and dedicating Samuel to the Lord. I am praying that the Lord will set apart our child for himself and his service and that we will have a vision of God’s greatness and sovereignty as Hannah expressed in her prayer.
Oh, and for what its worth, I thought of a little preacher alliteration for Gal. 1:15-16. Check it out:
1. God’s Predestination (election) – “set me apart before I was born”
2. God’s Power (effectual calling) – “called me by his grace”
3. God’s Pleasure – “was pleased to reveal his Son to me”
4. God’s Purpose – “order that I might preach him among the Gentiles”
Anyway, thought I’d put my $.02 of alliteration in there. 🙂 I will be ckecking out those verses on fatherhood as well. Thanks for the encouragement brother and the helpful words about selfishness.
Scott,
Great to hear from you man! Please send our warmest regards to Pearl and the fam. You and Steve Weaver could give me a ton of wisdom about fathering. Ya’lls quiver be quite full!
Also, I am excited for Caleb and his teaching opportunity at Pepperdine. (and engagement) But I don’t think he will fit in will all the Hollywood style there. He needs some fellow hillbillies with harmonicas and mandolins. When I visit him, I will remember to bring my kazoo.
Congratulations! Your child is blessed to have such a godly father. On the preparation, a few things:
1. Names. Pick one of each. It’ so hard. If you can only find a girl name, you’ll probably have a boy and vise versa.
2. One thing we’ve done is every time we go to the store we buy a pack of newborn diapers.
Ok a couple. Really happy for you guys. The BIGGEST thing is know the two of you are together in the process, though it will seem you’re not at times.
Dan,
Very practical and help advice. With a meager seminary budget, we are aware that the costs will increase during the time of the birth and thereafter, so we are trying to set aside each month some money so that we won’t get slammed with bills later. But getting the diapers and stuff like that is something we can already begin doing.
It’s funny that you said, “The BIGGEST thing is know the two of you are together in the process, though it will seem you’re not at times” because my wife mentioned that to me yesterday. Thanks for that word of confirmation. Blessings.
Congratulations! As a father of two wonderful little girls, I will share what we began doing once we knew they were in there…
1. Pray that they will be happy, healthy and totally devoted to God from a young age. (Our five year old have convinced me that she knows Jesus- something I am always leery of- a child claiming Christ, too often it is nothing more than a feather in the parents’ cap and no real conversion)
2. Write down everything you can and take pictures (BUT NOT OF THE DELIVERY!!)
3. If you do not plan to watch the baby being born- stay away from the delivery room- I didn’t plan on watching either one, but it’s like rooting for a football game- “Push, push, come honey, you can do it… Almost there…” and then before you know it you see the little head pop out and you see everything. I had no intention of watching either time, but saw both.
4. Make the doctor or mid-wife cut the chord- they get good money to do the whole job!!!
Just $.02 from a goofball.
Warm congratulations Timmy; you cannot begin to imagine what a blessing it is to be a daddy. Little girls are especially great, though if you are blessed with a strapping young lad, I am sure that will be fine as well. 🙂
NAF
After talking with my wife, we both agreed that it is a good idea to hold off on buying anything until after the 3rd month, when you should be out of the danger zone. Instead, you guys should focus on saving money, planning, and developing personal and spiritual habits that will get you through the next few months and years. Grilling both sets of parents and extended family about how they parented you and other kids in the family would be a great idea as well. Once month 3 is out of the way and the doc gives an “all clear,” let the shopping begin.
I don’t want to be alarmist, but that’s still a raw spot for Tricia and I, and I think we want to help others be prepared.
Congratulations, bro. Really happy for both of you. Big smiles and all that. Little dude(ette) is gonna be smart as a whip, no doubt! And beautiful. God is awesome indeed, and what a privilege to get to raise a child in the way they should go…
Hey, Congratulations. This is Tee (using my husband Stephen’s name) Like Stephen said, don’t want to be an alarmist, but would like to issue a word of caution when spreading the word around. The last thing both you or your wife needs is to hear thousands of “I’m sorry” if something happens. I will say a special prayer to the both of you and hope that God blesses your life in ways you have never imagined.
Pregador27,
Man, some of those things you mentioned should have had a PG-13 rating. Just kidding. Thanks for the laugh and encouragement!
Nathan,
Thanks man! Does this mean that I need to buy a bowtie?
Jimmy,
The baby will be beautiful because he/she will look like their mother. Indeed, it is a privilege and joy to raise up a child, and I pray that God uses me in spite of me to point my family to Jesus. Thanks for commenting brother.
Stephen and Tricia,
First, thanks for the holy kisses! Second, Dusti and I have considered whether or not we should tell folks now. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that our joy and excitement was overwhelming and wanting to share that with others. We are well aware of the risk of doing so (with the possibility of miscarriage and all), but we rest in the Father’s good pleasure. Your words are well-received, and at this point, we are only making the financial plans necessary to compensate for future expenses. Whatever happens, we know that God’s purposes will stand, and in the meantime we pray that God prepares our hearts and lives for all that he has in store for the future, be it a mountain top or valley. For you guys and for us, I pray that the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Timmy,
You’l get a few people with genuine concern throughout the pregnancy. Thoug they really do mean well, My wife and I know the “anxiety” it can sometimes cause. I think Stephen and Tricia have a genuine care and concern and want to try to help after what I assume was a tragic experience in their lives.
My wife and I lost our third baby two days after telling everyone we were pregnant. The fear set in right away of telling people what happened. A month later we conceived again and were terrified of telling people and making plans for the future. I can’t tell you the overwhelming feeling of support we got from our church, family and friends. My advice on this is just how you have responded. The joy and gladness is so much more. I think making the financil plans and other arrangements somewhat helps solidify what it is your wife is carrying. I’ve always had a hard time calling our yet-unborn children by their names until they were born for some reason. What I have found most helpful as a dad was that with each of our kids(Kaitlyn, Landon, One in Heaven in CHrist’s arms, and #4 yet unborn) I sat by myself and prayed that God would do what he will, and I realeased each one into his hands. They are not our children but entrustments by God. The comfort that brought me is unmatched. I know I’m rambling, but my heart just leaps to know the joy you guys have and will experience throughout he baby’s life.
Stephen and Tricia,
Please know you are in my prayers that God will heal the hurt you have experienced. I know the emptiness that a father feels after a loss, and the jealousy when noone cares about the dad. So my heart goes out to you guys.
God Bless.
Sorry. I hate to take away from Timmy’s post, but my dad gave me a book, that I would recommend to Stephen and anyone who has felt that loss. It’s called, “I’ll Hold You in Heaven” by Jack Hayford. Ok I’m done now, I promise.
Congratulations to You!
There is almost no greater joy than this news in a family.
Congradulations, Brother
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV)
The point is, that takes time; lots of it, so set all of your secondary plans aside and make your children a conscience priority. Never forget you will give an account some day for the way you have used your talents. Live your faith before your children, with your children.
The other thing I would say is pray, sing, and read scripture ALOUD beginning now, and never quit so long as you both have breath.
Blessings to you both,
Wayne & Suzan Hatcher
Ann,
Thank you very much!
Wayne,
Amen and amen. I couldn’t agree more. I was thinking about how the sheep know the voice of their shepherd and follow where he leads. I was thinking about how I have been called to shepherd my children and lead my family in righteousness. And ultimately, I have been thinking and praying that my children would hear the voice of the Good Shepherd and follow Him all the days of their lives.
Thanks Wayne and Susan for the wonderful encouragement!
Congrats Timmy! Great news!
Appreciate it Mark! Great to hear from you man.
Congratulations Timmy! What a blessing. What a gift. God is good! I’m happy for you guys.
Thanks Mark. We have been really blessed by all the kind words of encouragement.
My only appeal is that you name him something easily pronounced and spelled.
Your Friend,
Guillaume McDowell
p.s. I am not presuming your child is male; I’m just avoiding calling him “it”.
G. F.
Right now, we have a boy’s name in mind that is two syllables and five letters long. The girl’s name is two syllables and three letters long. We’re pretty simple like that.
Thanks for the comment, Geehoym!