About a month ago, Gary Rohrmayer wrote a three-part series (part one, part two, and part three) on engaging spiritual conversations. I found these posts helpful to think about in living gospel-centered lives. Below is his series in summary form.
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Here are five ideas for increasing the spiritual conversations in your life:
1) Make It a Priority
The number of conversations you have is directly related to the number of conversions you will see happen over a year. In coaching church leaders we use the 3 by 5 rule. If leaders are going to be serious about connecting with people they need to uncover at least 5 new contacts a day, equaling about 35 a week, which will lead to 3 “sit-downs” for a meaningful conversation.
How many contacts does it take for you to get a meaningful sit-down with a person?
2) Pray for Opportunities
When is the last time you asked God to open new doors of opportunity for you?
A prayerful attitude is key to putting oneself into the redemptive flow of God’s mission.
3) Get out and into your community
All to often we are so isolated from the world in which you live. Look at your calendar and see what fills your week. I encourage church planters to think about tithing their time to community service and interaction. As a planter I put in 60 plus hours a week.
Can you imagine all the spiritual conversations that could take place if your staff and leaders were encouraged to tithe their time to community service and interaction?
4) Establish routines and cultivate relationships
Beyond the tithe of your time in your community I encourage leaders to establish routines and patterns so that you build relational presence with business owners and servers. Think strategically about all your interactions and pray that you can be a redemptive influence within that social network.
What places do you frequent in your community?
Jesus, Paul and James used the analogy of the farmer when it comes to spiritual leaders patiently sowing, working and cultivating the work of the gospel. When it comes to engaging in spiritual conversations you need to have an attitude of a farmer, faithfully working and cultivating your community.
Here are some ‘quick hits’ on how to create thirst in your spiritual conversations:
Look for God’s work in the lives of people
The Father is drawing people to himself (John 6:44). The Son is seeking the lost (Luke 19:10). The Holy Spirit is convicting the world (John 16:8). All we need to do is figure out how to get into God’s redemptive flow and recognize his hand on the lives of those around us.
Be willing to take a risk
Darryn Scheske, one of the best evangelists I know, writes, “In my experience, engaging in Spirit-led spiritual conversations with others always requires me to take a personal risk of some kind. You see, nearly every opportunity to have a spiritual conversation will produce some kind of anxiety in me. Usually I’m too tired. Or, I’m on my way somewhere else and I really don’t have the time. Or, I might be intimidated by the person; their life circumstances or credentials. I might just be afraid of what they will think. If you’re going to seek out spiritual conversations, they won’t come when you’re ready or available. They happen in the middle of your everyday life.”
Learn to ask good questions
Being too directive can come across as intrusive and pushy. Trusting the Holy Spirit to plant and nurture the seeds that have been sown through good questions is vital to creating and sustaining spiritual conversations.
Get into their stories
Get people talking about themselves, the more you get them talking, the more you can discover God’s hand in their lives. Remember, it is not about you, it is about them and their lives, their journey and their eternity.
Get permission to go deeper
This is simply a loving and polite act to get someone’s permission to take the conversation to another level. Get permission to explore a question or topic further…“Do you have time to explore the topic in more depth?”
Guard your heart
The heart never lies! People smell a “fake” from a mile away. A genuine love for people and a servant’s spirit is attractive to people. If my motives are questionable people will intuitively perceive it. We all need to take heed to Peter’s words, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (I Peter 3:15-17)
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Rohrmayer follows up this series with a post with ideas for practicing the 3×5 rule. As Christians who are longing to express the gospel through our lips and demonstrated in our lives, we need to stimulate one another to sharing the gospel with others through meaningful relationships with unbelievers that are cultivated by regularly engaging our world. Like Paul who was eager to preach the gospel to the Romans (Rom. 1:14-16), let us not be ashamed of the gospel!
This is good stuff. I think too often people see evangelism as a program. This is a great reminder that evangelism is done in the midst of every day life. It is also a reminder to me to be intentional wherever I am…especially at work. It is too easy to get caught up in the routines of life and squeeze spiritual conversations right out of the picture. I think the idea of tithing time is crucial. Time seems to be working against us because we make spiritual conversations and disciplines last in a line of priorities. How sad. Thanks for posting this outline. It is a great challenge and encouragement.
Jeff,
Exactly. I really liked the idea of tithing with your time as well. I don’t think I had ever heard of that before. We often hear that we should be in the world but not of the world. But I think it is often that we are not even in the world! When Jesus “tabernacled” among us, it was not so that we could get a glance of him. Rather, we beheld him. I am afraid that so much of our world doesn’t see Jesus because he is so far removed from them. We need more Christians who will “tabernacle” with those who need Jesus and not simply do a drive-by.